My Fiancé Proposed With His Grandmother's Ring. I Hated It. Then I Had It Appraised. Now I Can't Sleep. (What Would YOU Do?)
My Fiancé Proposed With His
Grandmother's Ring.
I Hated It.
Then I had it appraised: $47,000. Still hated it. Lied for 3 months. Finally told him the truth. What happened next changed everything. (What would YOU do?)
The Proposal
March 14, 2024. Jake proposed on a beach in Queensland. It was perfect—sunset, champagne, the whole romantic setup.
Then he pulled out the ring.
His grandmother's ring. A 2.8ct sapphire in an ornate Victorian setting. Heavy gold, intricate filigree, very... old-fashioned.
I said yes. I meant it. I love Jake.
But I hated the ring.
💔 The Lie I Told
"It's beautiful," I said. "I love it."
I wore it every day for three months. I smiled when people complimented it. I posted photos on Instagram with the ring prominently displayed.
Every single day, I hated looking at my hand.
The Appraisal
Two months after the proposal, I had the ring appraised. Not because I wanted to sell it—I just wanted to know what it was worth for insurance purposes.
The gemologist examined it for 20 minutes. Then he looked up and said: "This is a 2.8-carat unheated Burmese sapphire. Circa 1920s. Exceptional quality. I'd appraise this at $45,000-$50,000."
I nearly fell off the chair.
$47,000. His grandmother's ring was worth $47,000.
And I still hated it.
The Impossible Dilemma
Option 1: Keep Lying
Wear a $47,000 ring I hate for the rest of my life. Never tell Jake. Resent it (and maybe him) forever.
Option 2: Tell the Truth
Risk hurting Jake. Disrespect his grandmother's memory. Potentially damage our relationship. But be honest.
The Conversation
I couldn't do it anymore. Three months of lying was eating me alive.
One night, I sat Jake down and said: "I need to tell you something about the ring."
His face went pale. "You lost it?"
"No. I... I don't like it. I'm so sorry. I love you, and I love that it's your grandmother's, but the style isn't me. I've been lying for three months and I can't do it anymore."
Silence. Long, terrible silence.
Then he said: "I know."
🤯 The Plot Twist
"You... know?"
"I've known since week two. You never wear it when we're just at home. You only put it on when we're going out. You look at it the way people look at uncomfortable shoes."
"Then why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I was waiting for you to be honest with me."
The Solution
We talked for three hours that night. Here's what we decided:
1. Get the Ring Appraised (Done)
We already knew: $47,000 value, 2.8ct unheated Burmese sapphire, exceptional quality.
2. Have the Stone Reset
We found a jeweler who specializes in heirloom redesigns. The plan:
- Remove the sapphire from the Victorian setting
- Create a modern bezel setting in platinum
- Keep the original setting intact (preserve family history)
- Cost: $2,800 for new setting
3. Honor the Heirloom
The original Victorian setting now lives in a display case in our home. We didn't destroy it—we preserved it while making the stone wearable for me.
✓ The Result
I now wear a ring I love. The same $47,000 sapphire, but in a setting that's actually me—modern, clean, elegant.
Jake's grandmother's legacy is honored. The stone she wore is the stone I wear. The original setting is preserved.
And our relationship is stronger because I finally told the truth.
What I Learned
1. Honesty > Comfort
Three months of lying damaged our relationship more than one difficult conversation ever could have.
2. Heirlooms Can Be Adapted
You don't have to choose between honoring family history and wearing something you love. Resetting stones preserves the heirloom while making it wearable.
3. He Probably Already Knows
If you're lying about hating your engagement ring, your partner probably already knows. They're just waiting for you to be honest.
💡 For Anyone in This Situation
If you hate your engagement ring (heirloom or not), here's what to do:
- Tell the truth. Sooner is better than later.
- Get it appraised. Know what you're working with.
- Explore resetting options. You can honor heirlooms while making them wearable.
- Preserve the original. Don't destroy family history—display it.
- Focus on the relationship. The ring matters less than honesty and respect.
The Cost Breakdown
What We Spent
| Appraisal | $150 |
| New platinum bezel setting | $2,400 |
| Stone removal & resetting | $400 |
| Display case for original setting | $180 |
| TOTAL | $3,130 |
Worth every penny to wear a ring I love while honoring his grandmother's legacy.
What Would YOU Do?
I posted this story on Reddit. The responses were split:
Team "Keep It Original" (42%)
"You should have worn it as-is. It's a family heirloom. Resetting it was disrespectful."
Team "Reset It" (58%)
"You preserved the setting AND made the stone wearable. Perfect solution. Honesty matters more than tradition."
Where do you stand?
🇦🇺 Heirloom Resetting Services
If you're in a similar situation, we work with jewelers who specialize in heirloom redesigns. They can:
- Remove stones from outdated settings
- Create modern settings that honor the original
- Preserve original settings for display
- Provide documentation and photography
We also source Australian sapphires for custom engagement rings if you want to start fresh while keeping heirlooms as family treasures.
Browse Custom Sapphires →The Bottom Line
I hated my $47,000 engagement ring. I lied for three months. I finally told the truth. We reset the stone, preserved the original setting, and our relationship is stronger for it.
Key lessons:
- Honesty is more important than comfort
- Heirlooms can be adapted without being destroyed
- Resetting stones preserves family history while making them wearable
- Your partner probably already knows if you're lying
- The ring matters less than the relationship
If you're in this situation: tell the truth, get it appraised, explore resetting options, and focus on what actually matters—your relationship.
Create Your Perfect Ring
Whether you're resetting an heirloom or starting fresh, we source Australian sapphires for custom engagement rings that reflect your actual style.
✓ Natural, Unheated Australian Sapphires
✓ Direct-from-Miner Pricing
✓ Custom Setting Recommendations
✓ Heirloom Resetting Guidance
📚 Continue Reading
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